Back to work

I had to go back to work today and it was pretty hard to leave Logan. My parents stayed the night last night so mom could help out in the morning as I wasn't sure how it would go. I had planned to leave by 7:30 but was running a little late and then around 7:45 Logan was fussing again, normally we would have just given him his paci again as he wasn't really awake yet, but I ended up getting him up so I could hold him before I left. The morning wasn't bad as I was catching up with people and emails, but by the afternoon I was sick of being at work and just wanted to get home to Logan. Mom kept taking pictures of him with her phone and sending them to me, so that was nice. He seemed very happy! When I finally got home a little after 5, he was awake, little fussy though. Took a nap while I was holding him and then when he woke I assumed he was hungry. So went to get a bottle ready and he did not want to wait for me. Once I got it made and ready for him, he took it for a few seconds then started crying like I have never seem him cry. He was hysterical. Doing the silent cry where he can't get his breath to even make a noise. I calmed him down and then he was just a little fussy again so assumed he was hungry, so gave him the bottle again, and again after a few sucks the went into the same crying. Jason walked in at this point from work and was wondering what the heck was wrong with him. It was like the milk was poisoned! I am not sure what was wrong, but from that cry I assume he was in pain. Got him settled down again and waited awhile, then tried the bottle again, he took it down like nothing had happened! He was off and on fussy after that. Was very worried he wasn't going to be able to go to sleep easily, but he did. So not sure what was going on, but man did he stress me out! I was hoping I would get a lot of smiles and talking when I got home, but apparently he wasn't in the mood! Must have used them all up on Grandma and Grandpa!

So I am so sad that I have to go back again tomorrow, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be, before actually having Logan. When I was pregnant I didn't think twice about going back to work, figured I would never not want too, but now I can see how it would be nice to be able to stay home with him, at least for awhile longer. Anyone out there know of any jobs I can work part time at???? That would be nice, I could work 3 days a week! Glad I don't have to work the full week though, very glad it's only 2 days this week and 3 the next. Pondering taking Jan 2nd off too, so might only work 2 days next week! Then I have to go back full time though and I do not know how that is going to go. I'm sure it will get easier, so we'll just see how I feel at that point. Really wish we lived in another country where they get more time off and their job still guaranteed!